look no pants
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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