I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
