You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
