like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
