We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
