Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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