it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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