...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
