He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
