i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
