Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
