I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
