I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
