I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
He kissed a someone with a penis
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
