he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I think your dad took our porno
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
