I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
