I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
