I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
