I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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