I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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