we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
