You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
