would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
