Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
