I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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