dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
They took my balls.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
