You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
