I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
