shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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