if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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