2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
