Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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