She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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