Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
