apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
