god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
