So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
