i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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