there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
