why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
