We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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