brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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