I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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