walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
where am i from again
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize