He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
