If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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