I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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