Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
