weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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