weddingsv make me drug and hornr
4 words: hood of his car
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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