What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
