12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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