how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
