I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I think my moral compass just broke
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
