"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
