You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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