I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It was like getting head from an anaconda
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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