Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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