Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
