cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
