I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
