Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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