I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
