"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize