mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
