I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
