the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
