butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
